Tonight I sit and really wonder how to forgive someone who time and time again makes me so angry?!
There was a spat happening on a group text that I'm apart of. Someone was offended because none of us responding within seconds of her posting some pictures. She felt as though we did not love her. The whole thing got way out of control and people were being so harsh when all the group text is suppose to do is bring people closer together by staying in contact with each other. I wish I could say that I was one of the peacemakers of the group, but I wasn't. I was pretty darn upset over comments that were made. So mad that I was shaking.
People have apologized and things are moving forward again, but I'm struggling. How do I truly forgive this person who time and time again does stuff like this? I want to forgive them and I want to move forward in life, but I have such a deep wedge in my heart that I'm struggling so bad. I literally get sick to my stomach and start throwing up because the feelings are so deep now. The part that is the hardest is the guilt because I know that I can't feel this way. I have got to forgive and move on because I'm only hurting myself through all of this. While I was rocking Hope to sleep tonight I just cried out to my Heavenly Father for help. I felt a good load of the burden lift, but now that I'm not in prayer, I'm hurting and aching again.
Please, if anyone has any good ideas please help me!!!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Strength from our Meetings
This last week I've really been struggling with anger. I'm just on edge with everything. Poor Zac has gotten his head ripped off a couple of times. I just didn't know what was causing it. The joys of life ;).
I just got back fromStake Conference. We discussed what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I LOVED the discussion. So much was shared and I could have stayed in the meeting for hours. It was the best I felt all week. The 2 things I realized the most from the discussion were that
1. My desire to follow Christ has to be there. I have to have the desire to be a disciple. Everything starts with desire. So if I want to be a disciple bad enough I will begin to make the choices to be one.
2. I have to deny myself in order to become a disciple of Christ. This made me immediately think of 2 Nephi 9:39 - SMILE (to be spiritually minded is life eternal). I want to put off the natural man but I forget to use the spirit. Only in the spirit can we focus our will with the Lords. As we do this it is a little easier to let those natural desires go. An example: for me waking up in the morning to do read scriptures is so hard. I really want to sleep. But when I look at what putting that little bit of sleep aside in order to have the spirit with me gives me the strength to get up and read.
They also reminded us about how easy it is to be distracted on our journey of discipleship. We may have a pure heart and no desire to be bad but we just get distracted by the world. We don't ever have to give up and think we have to start over. Repentance is just wanting to be better and so we just improve from where we are.
The whole thing was encouraging. I'm just so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost bearing witness of truth to me. My testimony was strengthened and revelation received!!!
I just got back fromStake Conference. We discussed what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I LOVED the discussion. So much was shared and I could have stayed in the meeting for hours. It was the best I felt all week. The 2 things I realized the most from the discussion were that
1. My desire to follow Christ has to be there. I have to have the desire to be a disciple. Everything starts with desire. So if I want to be a disciple bad enough I will begin to make the choices to be one.
2. I have to deny myself in order to become a disciple of Christ. This made me immediately think of 2 Nephi 9:39 - SMILE (to be spiritually minded is life eternal). I want to put off the natural man but I forget to use the spirit. Only in the spirit can we focus our will with the Lords. As we do this it is a little easier to let those natural desires go. An example: for me waking up in the morning to do read scriptures is so hard. I really want to sleep. But when I look at what putting that little bit of sleep aside in order to have the spirit with me gives me the strength to get up and read.
They also reminded us about how easy it is to be distracted on our journey of discipleship. We may have a pure heart and no desire to be bad but we just get distracted by the world. We don't ever have to give up and think we have to start over. Repentance is just wanting to be better and so we just improve from where we are.
The whole thing was encouraging. I'm just so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost bearing witness of truth to me. My testimony was strengthened and revelation received!!!
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